prismatica | (Video; UN: motherofdragons)

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(Video; UN: motherofdragons)

(Sanguis has blessed her and no one can tell her differently. Daenerys is standing before a mirror, running her fingertips over the horns protruding from her head. However those additions do not thrill her as much as the leathery wings on her back.

If her smile makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, that is understandable. The scales on her cheeks and the fact that her blue eyes are anything but human don't help matters, however there is an undefinable quality about her. Perhaps this isn't a blessing after all.)

Am I a monster? (Her hands shake as she presses her talons against her cheeks.) Is this...me? Have I always been this?

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[ a low chuckle. ]

That's usually how it works. But you still got 'em so it still matters to you, right?

I haven't the faintest idea what to do with them.

(Her hands fall to her sides and her wings are tucked, tense, against her back.)

Monsters shouldn't care.

[ blandly. ]

Monsters don't waste their time thinking the worst of themselves. Monsters do whatever the hell they want.

What do you want to do now?

Dragons do that too. (No guilt, no shame. They follow their own code.) I want to find peace. I want to be free of...everything.

(Everything including missing those she lost and the guilt she carries after killing thousands of people.)

[ he shrugs. ]

Then don't get bogged down by what you are. Make it about what you do. You're in fantasy space land. Who's gonna stop you?

You expect me to forget? (To carry on when the smell of blood, fire and ashes haunts her. She doesn't know when she will stop waking in a cold sweat, her chest aching.)

I've tried to be...peaceful...here. But that doesn't absolve me.

Nah, I didn't say forget.

But there's no point chasing absolution in a place no one knows you.

That could change. (She turns away from the mirror.) I thought I saw someone from my world recently.

Others could follow. I need to understand where I went wrong.

[ well, she did mention tyranny. ]

Were you conquering? Putting things to the sword and flame?

I razed a city to the ground. Tens of thousands perished. (And all for what? To kill Cersei?)

[ bingo. he raises an eyebrow. ]

And you're still askin' why? Kinda self-explanatory, right?

It started before then. That was...the final straw. (She doesn't understand where her morals became twisted.)

[ erik purses his lips. he could hazard a guess. he's toppled regimes, turned them inside out. ]

Because they didn't want you?

In part. (Her voice breaks; those words are hard to form.) If I couldn't have their love, I accepted their fear.

[ that's probably where the guilt comes from. for erik, love was never part of the equation. he was never loved and he never expected to be. ]

And you're regretting that now.

I regret everything. All of my dreams led me to a place that distrusted me immediately. So many expected me to be just like my father - mad and cruel. They used me to fight their enemies and paid no mind to those I lost. They then turned the man I loved against me, filling his head with doubts.

I had no one. I stopped eating, I stopped sleeping - I haven't done either well in Lunatia either. I had no choice; I had to carry on. Then, during that final battle, something snapped. I couldn't bear showing the soldiers who served the woman who murdered my son and beheaded my friend mercy.

So I didn't. I didn't show anyone mercy.

So if they were here right now and you were faced with the same choice . . . what would you do?

[ because that's the true measure. if you would do it all over again. ]

I would fly Drogon - my dragon - in the opposite direction. I would give us time to think.

(She could have returned to Dragonstone - that isn't far from King's Landing. Exhaustion would have ensured she slept truly for at least a night.)

Then you have your answer. You're not the monster you were then.

...is it that simple?

[ he shrugs. ]

If you want to twist yourself into circles, be my guest. But it comes down to the choice, right? If you would do it again, then you know what you are.

I think "twisting myself into circles" is the least I can do with all of the blood on my hands.

(Metaphorically speaking.)

[ bluntly. ]

It doesn't do anyone any favours, least of all the dead. You can't wash it off and acting like you're punishing yourself with guilt ain't real punishment.

There is no justice. (For the dead, for her, for anyone.) We just survive.

[ a low bark of laughter at that. ]

That's right. That's the real rule of the universe.

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