prismatica | UN: G.Akechi | Early afternoon

If he's torn down to nothing, how has he won more than he's lost?

Humans call abuse cyclical for a reason. When you only see one tool to deal with a problem, you solve your problems with it. And this one I can't even say was one of your inventions.

It's Heaven's.

God has been largely absent since Lucy's little snit fit of a Rebellion. If She's still paying any kind of attention, She has a funny way of showing it, which is to say none at all. There's no answer to questions of any kind, and the last time anyone tried asking they got thrown out for their trouble, which doesn't exactly inspire confidence in doing so. So everyone who's left Upstairs is... well. They're winging it, for lack of a better phrase, but they've convinced themselves there's a Plan and rigid adherence to the Plan is the only way forward.

But no one knows what the Plan is. They pass that uncertainty down the chain. Obey orders, but fuck if we're going to tell you what the orders are until you screw up. Aziraphale's the only angel deserving of the name and they treat him like shit for daring to be kind and look out for humanity.

Hell's no better, but they're at least open in their menace. You know it's going to be unpleasant. They make a production out of it, and a lot of it comes from bitterness over how poorly flouncing out or being tossed out, depending on exactly who you ask, went.

Anyway.

I can see where imposed remorse is a troubling idea - you're welcome for the free will, by the way - but arguably, it's the consequence of his previous freely made choices, and he's been more than happy to impose his will on others. Humans tend to call that 'crime.'

How he could win if you take away his power is all down to you. How often has he torn down someone he believes wronged him to nothing? Got another tool in your arsenal to handle what comes after the satisfaction of seeing him squirm a little?

Or are you stuck in the cycle created by him showing you that's the only tool you'll ever need?

[There's...a good long while before he replies. It seems Crowley's given him something to seriously consider.]

'Crime', or 'politics'. Though how much difference there is depends on who you ask.

I don't know how much chance I'll get to show him either way. He's forced me to be complicit in crimes others would be well justified in seeking vengeance of their own for.

[Good. He should think about it.]

Eh, fair.

Okay, so you're looking at jail time of your own, in all likelihood. But by and large, most humans aren't going to go on a bloody revenge rampage. It's too much effort, and besides, they have other tools they can use. Like, oh, I don't know, letting the legal system handle criminals.

What if I get a reduced sentence because of the circumstances, and they aren't satisfied with me getting off lightly? You don't think they'd want to make up the difference if they had the opportunity?

Still more effort than the average person wants to put in, kid. Not to mention, a lot of people won't see the risk of their own jail time as worth whatever reward they might get from killing someone.

[Are there people who might think he wasn't getting the full measure of what he deserves? Quite possibly. But that still doesn't mean they'll take matters into their own hands.]

I've seen plenty of people willing to go to a lot of effort to retaliate for lesser reasons than that.

If it was your sperm donor's idea of friends, you've seen a lot more of the exception than the general rule. Seriously, but for the country they could've given him the Antichrist to raise and got the apocalypse they all wanted so badly.

(The real one ended up with the wrong family - more people than expected at the hospital that night. The guy they wanted on the job... has barely noticed he has a child, a full decade later.)

My mother's relatives, too. They convinced me she hated me for no other reason than resentment for the way my birth reflected on the family.

(I wouldn't be surprised if I have a number of half-siblings my biological father doesn't even know about.)

Parenting is a largely thankless task, and I'm given to understand it's harder to do without any kind of backup. But it does sound like the resentment wasn't your mother's problem.

I wouldn't either. The entitled type who don't communicate with anyone but themselves about what they want out of other people don't tend to stop at one partner. The real surprise is that he seems to know about you, or might do if he's onto your scheming.

She'd done nothing to deserve it. She worked hard and did whatever it took to be as good of a mother as possible while doing everything on her own.

At the very least, he knew about my conception. My mother was his regular mistress, up until she got pregnant and became a potential scandal if people figured out who the father was.

No offense to you, but he should've thought of that before he fucked her. [Akechi seems like a decent kid so far, give or take his checkered past. But there's literally no reason for his sperm donor to have thought with his dick to the exclusion of common sense.]

Too bad you lost her.

That would've required him to not consider her expendable. I doubt he would've paid her much attention at all if he hadn't wanted to fuck her.

Is it...weird that I kind of wish she would turn up here?

Edited 2019-11-22 01:21 (UTC)

Doesn't sound like the type to think with his brain rather than his dick, from what you've said. You're at least thinking with the proper head.

I'd say no. She could probably use the vacation more than most.

Not when women are involved, at least. He's smart enough to be dangerous, but dumb enough that he needed a fifteen year old's information gathering and scandal causing abilities to rescue him from his own bad public image.

Her life would have been completely different here. Most of her suffering was because Japan treats single mothers like shit, if you'll pardon the French.

So not even effective assholery, then. (Related: You pick now to start worrying about your language? Talking to me? Fucking seriously, kid?) [The last bit is teasing, a little. But only a little.]

She'd certainly have an easier time finding whatever work she pleases, and you're old enough to chip in if you felt she needed the help. And you're right, no one would care about her past in the same way.

Rather doubt your low point is where she wanted your life to end up, but you're clawing out of the pit now, which counts for something. You're not choosing to stay there.

He's the type of arrogant and entitled asshole who doesn't think he should need tact and consideration. (There's vulgar language, and then there's vulgar language that you want to make extra clear is deliberate, rather than just how you talk.)

She wouldn't have to deal with relatives treating her like a blight on the family name, either. I'm sure that was a source of stress on its own.

I used to think it was, but that was when I was still trusting what her relatives told me. But now that I've compared their claims to what I actually remember of her, I'm sure she would have wanted me to find some sort of happiness and stability in my life.

Like I said earlier, could've given him the Antichrist to raise and got what they wanted. Despite or because of his general lack of interest in parenting, really.

Oh, it is.

If she was the one who cared about you for your own sake, then she likely would've, yeah. You screwed up, but you're choosing not to leave it at that.

Considering what I've learned about the reason I got my powers, I can't say you're wrong.

I just...worry what she would think of how badly I screwed up.

Not an unjustified worry, considering. But if she tangled with your relatives and sperm donor as well, there's a chance she'd understand how it came to that.

Powers?

I have psychic abilities. Apparently they were given to me by some god as part of a wager, where I was meant to represent the side of destroying the current world.

...Fuck, they as good as did give your sperm donor the Antichrist, didn't they.

Bloody idiots thinking Earth is a good stake in their wager. If they spent any kind of time there at all they'd know it's more than that.

I don't really know the full details, since I only heard about them secondhand. I came here from before any of this came to light.

Though, I can say that there was a time when I was so bitter, I wouldn't have cared. And part of it was because of what I saw thanks to my powers.

Yeah, that was the goal with the ambassador, too - put someone in charge of a kid who'd make the kid believe there wasn't any point. We did our best to mitigate it.

Then it turned out we had the wrong kid, but things still worked out all right.

Still, can't blame you for feeling used in the slightest.

Honestly, knowing what I do now, I have to wonder if some of what I've endured was orchestrated. If I'd ever had peers who didn't just follow the way adults treated me, I might have realized sooner that humanity wasn't hopeless after all.

But even if that is the case, it doesn't change it. It just provides even more motivation to want to see things through and take my grievances out in the right direction this time.

(no subject)

whateternityis - 2019-11-22 21:49 (UTC) - Expand