prismatica | text | un: no1bananaslut

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text | un: no1bananaslut

hey i usually do video or whatever but i've straight up spent the last couple of hours just crying and eating ice cream

and uh

shit gets really dark so here we go?

has anyone else had to deal with

like before i came here i made a deal with some kind of

entity?

for power? idk i don't remember the details

and i got some sweet stuff but then i had to live out the same three months that came after OVER AND OVER

you don't understand

every time the three months were over i'd just go straight back to the first day of those 90 days like nothing happened

i kept seeing my friends die and then at the end of the cycle they came back which was nice until they kept DYING AGAIN

i died myself like 80 times

the first time i thought it would be over but NOPE, BACK ON DAY ONE AGAIN

the second time i literally jumped off a cliff to see if it would happen again AND IT DID

there's a lot i don't remember

none of my actions had consequences anymore

my mind went some really weird places then

like i could just straight up murderize everyone in a village and it's not like they're REALLY dead, so whatever

we talked a lot about birthdays, right?

i don't even know how old i'm supposed to be anymore

am i just 17 forever?

am i like hundreds of years old now?

does it even matter?

anyway sorry idk where i'm going with this

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Feeling lost is normal after going through something painful. It's when you start asking yourself questions that are important, even if they just feel or are a little mundane.

i think i used to have goals in life and stuff

besides just "make it stop"

i don't really remember what a lot of them are anymore

That's fine. A lot of people who go through pain tend to forget. So we make new ones, even if it feels pointless. More so if it's pointless. That's what I think.

what was the entity's name

...hold on.

[ And she opens her mouth, letting out the low, primal rumble of the universe. A name that sounds like all names at once, and yet, none at all. ]

they have a brother named stolas?

( A joke, partially. )

i'm in a similar place.

It sounds like you've been cursed.

How long have you been here now?

a few months

in a lot of ways i feel kinda worse than when i was back home even if back home sucked too

so

Has your curse activated here or has it not been 3 months yet?

Homesick?

[Oof, this subject is a little too real for Rey that she flip-flops over whether to respond or not. Eventually she manages the words:]

wow have died a lot over many lives but havent nearly reached 80
wonder if theres a record for that kind of thing

anyway dont think age or birthdays really matter for people like us anymore
unless you look like youre a toddler or something then thats gross
otherwise guess you can just do whatever feels good for you?

i guess you're right

still feels like i haven't experienced much

kinda hard to when you're just going over different iterations of the same shit over and over

yeah usually you cant experience much when youre stuck in some shitty loop over and over
wasnt allowed to experience much either
it happens

[no big d]

[ This entire story sounds uncomfortably familiar. ]

Physical and mental age aren't the same thing.

[ That being said- ]

What was the 'entity' you made a deal with?

...kinda hard to put its name into words. Hold on.

[ And she opens her mouth, and...that sure is every name in existence erupting out of her mouth like some kind of wretched demon vomit. ]

[ ...well, that sure was a mouthful. ]

That's how it introduced itself to you?

I dunno why, but it... seemed to make sense at the time.

Almost like it's name didn't really matter and it was some sort of weird placeholder.

I see. I don't suppose you ever saw it again, after that?

If you're asking about whether I literally saw it like, with my eyes? That never happened.

We haven't been in contact since I got here.

Sight isn't necessary to make contact and communicate.

[ That's what he meant, pretty much. ]

It sounds as though you've been granted a reprieve in coming here.

I...

I'd say I hope so, but everything about this place still feels kinda off.

In what way?

I mean...

A lot of it seems too good to be true? Not only with me having to hug people for money and everything but also just. Moving forward.

Moving forward feels great.

But it's still the realest any thing's felt in a while.

Like everything else I've known up until this point was a weird dream.

It is a strange thing to adjust to.

[ The moonlacing, he means. ]

I can understand how living in real time is jarring after existing in a loop.

never had to deal with anything THAT bad. but it's probably good that you're here now so that can't happen again.

yeah probably

still feels bad

What sort of entity was this?

kinda hard to put into words

gave it control of my body for a while and i don't really remember some things but for the most part i remember most things?

Hm, you didn't see any spiders nearby did you? Or spiderwebs. Anything... spidery.

Uh, no?

[ She tries to wipe some stray tears off her face. ]

Could you describe it more? The sort of thing that happened?

[And part of him really wants to push further, to make it a statement and drag it out.]

THIS IS A RED ALERT FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE ABLE TO HEAR MY SIGNAL

I BELIEVE YOU MAY HAVE SPOKEN TO THE DARKEST OF THE LORDS OF MADNESS

I COULD SPEAK ITS NAME BUT THEN I WOULD INVOKE A FRENZY SO GREAT IT WOULD RAIN CHAOS DOWN UPON THIS WORLD AND ALL OF ITS DENIZENS

i mean

yeah?

probably

WE HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE TO BEWARE THE DARK POWERS THAT ARE STIRRING IN THE DEEPS

IA IA

Edited 2020-01-31 14:16 (UTC)

shit, you really think it's here?

that's a problem

i mean i don't THINK it is but

IT'S EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE ALL AT ONCE

USUALLY IT'S CONFINED TO ITS HORRIFIC DIMENSION BUT SOMETIMES IT SLIPS THROUGH THE CRACKS AND SO DOES THE SANITY OF ANYONE WHO COMES IN CONTACT WITH IT

YOU ARE TRULY POWERFUL FOR MEETING IT AND LIVING TO TELL THE TALE

are you sure about that

i did die

i just kept getting better

THE ENTITY IS ALLOWING YOU TO SURVIVE AT THE COST OF YOUR SANITY

YOU MUST BREAK THE CYCLE

THE POWER WITHIN MY EYE IS RESONATING IN SYMPATHY BUT THERE IS NOTHING SOMEONE OF MY BEARING CAN DO AGAINST A LORD OF THE DEEP

ALRIGHT FUCK

i dunno how i'm gonna do this but

thanks for believing in me i guess?

ONLY A COMMONER WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT

I HOPE YOU ARE RELEASED FROM YOUR TORMENT SOON

It would seem the circumstances are quite different but I understand the difficulty of dying more than once.

I don't know if you are still subject to experiencing it. But, though it doesn't ever become pleasant, desensitization does happen.

To your penultimate point: no, I don't think it matters.

Damn, man.

This is some heavy shit.

Okay, but check it out.

I've died a bunch of times in the last four years, and I still got older?

[Scout, respawn doesn't affect timelines, you weapons-grade potato. This is not equivalent.]

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