prismatica | Text [Username: KRen]

That is a very good question.
I have wondered the same myself and can't say that I've come to a completely satisfactory answer.
One thing I have begun to realize, however, is that I don't have to be involved in their change.
If someone who hurt you has insisted that they've changed, well, that is good for them if they are sincere.
That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be a part of their life, or them yours.
And if they really have changed they will understand that.
I hope that helps?

It feels like too easy of an answer to be true.

[[Especially when he's never been able to truly walk away from anything before]]

If I may ask what is it that is keeping you to them?

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triggerhappytraitor - 2020-04-06 01:17 (UTC) - Expand

Is the person who ruined your life still around?

You beat the crap out of them and then move on if possible. I think it's called "catharsis."

Yes.

I did that.

It didn't help.

Maybe you didn't hit them hard enough.

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chalicejoker - 2020-04-06 00:55 (UTC) - Expand

i guess you can't really. you just have to decide if you're really willing to give them the chance to prove themselves.

Just wait and see, you mean?

do you have a reason to trust them/ like someone else you trust who does/

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terribletwos - 2020-04-06 03:43 (UTC) - Expand

[This is just a bit too relatable. Though Xiao Xingchen might've forgot that he's signed in to an account that he's made audio posts on.]

Do you know the reason for why they have claimed to change their ways?

[[He debates a bit before answering, still a bit worried that the individual he's talking about ~~or worse, Hajime~~ will put things together and realize what's being talked about]]

What was driving his actions back in our world, doesn't exist in this one.

From that, you must understand what matters most to him.
What do you think drives his actions now?

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People don't change like that. You're wasting your time trying to look for a reason to believe them.

Why do you say that?

[[As it's... honestly a bit uncomfortably familiar]]

Observation of the world.

Though it is bothersome to have those who wronged you on your mind, trying to find the good in them is only giving them even more power of you that they do not deserve. They hurt you before. It's insolent to ask for a second chance.

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inordertobelieve - 2020-04-25 23:11 (UTC) - Expand

the answer to both of those questions is time

It hasn't worked so far, for the second.

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People will only change when they have no other options. That’s what I think.

I don't think that that's the only case.

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passio - 2020-04-08 05:43 (UTC) - Expand

The answer to both of your questions, at least in my personal experience, is that you don't. Both are a chance for personal growth. You learn how to live better when coming from the ashes, my friend.

I'm not saying to close yourself off, but the only thing you can do is take a leap of faith and be strong enough to remove yourself from the situation should it sour. I hope that the change of heart is at least a good one.

[ That'll be $500. ]

Growth, huh?

The ashes seem to cling pretty closely. I don't know if leaving them is even possible, any more.

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amant - 2020-04-10 14:58 (UTC) - Expand

did we want to transition to action mode or hop somewhere else?

triggerhappytraitor - 2020-04-10 15:09 (UTC) - Expand

we can transition if it's easier!

amant - 2020-04-11 22:43 (UTC) - Expand

Works for me!

triggerhappytraitor - 2020-04-11 22:56 (UTC) - Expand

Actions speak louder than words. Heartfelt proclamations of change mean nothing if they remain nothing but hot air, after all. Wait and see how they behave, and then judge.

As for not thinking about such a person... It may prove difficult at first, but all you can do is try to move past the damage they've inflicted upon you. You do not have to forgive them, but for the sake of your own wellbeing, it is best to remember that life continues, even if everything you knew seems to have crumbled before your eyes.

I don't know if it's possible to move past it. Even when I thought I had started moving forward again.

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The short answer is, you can't, and you don't. I suppose that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Most people don't change. Some can, and do, but none really that I've ever known. I'd say trusting someone to change is a risk you can decide to take, or not.

As far as someone who ruined your life - you'll probably never stop thinking about them. You might be able to think about them less, as time goes on, if you move on with your life. But someone who changes you that much, isn't someone you'll ever forget. For better or worse.

[[And that's... about the answer he expected, really.]]

Much as it would be better if it were otherwise.

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