Emerald Sustrai (
unhappy) wrote in
prismatica2020-05-18 02:15 am
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text; un: ems
I'm sick of trying to feel better about everything and being kind and showing everyone oh look moonblessed are harmless teehee let's just
be angry
anon is fine
come tell me who or what makes you angry, get it out there
[ Emerald is not anon, but she doesn't mind if any characters are. Unless otherwise stated, please assume she is not responding anonymously. She doesn't know how to cope with feelings of loss, so this is the best and most productive thing she could think of to try to get it out without wanting to punch everyone she speaks to in the face like she has for the past couple of weeks. So please, vent with her and be angry. ]
be angry
anon is fine
come tell me who or what makes you angry, get it out there
[ Emerald is not anon, but she doesn't mind if any characters are. Unless otherwise stated, please assume she is not responding anonymously. She doesn't know how to cope with feelings of loss, so this is the best and most productive thing she could think of to try to get it out without wanting to punch everyone she speaks to in the face like she has for the past couple of weeks. So please, vent with her and be angry. ]
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[ seimei is amused, though. maybe he would be, if he ever had any reason for it. everyone he’s ever leered at has known he was there and known he was looking—he just constructs anything odd he does as being perfectly natural for him, and no one bothers to question it.
he laughs. ]
I read my mother’s diary once. Does that count? My younger brother was furious with me.
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[ There are very clear answers, but she doesn't know if he'll just tease or try to really figure it out. She wonders what kind of impression she gives. ]
Why was your brother madder than your mom?
[ Maybe that is how it's supposed to be. She doesn't know. ]
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[ truthfully, she doesn’t seem like a criminal. it sounds like she’s done bad things, but if seimei compares her to himself, or even to nisei, she seems like she’s living in a different world—maybe there’s still a part of her that cares, even if she doesn’t want to. he wonders. ]
To answer that question, though, my mother never found out. I’m quite sneaky.
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[ It's just a game, after all. She doesn't think he'll guess she's got her face plastered across multiple kingdoms as an international fugitive for terrorism and mass murder. Maybe a thief. She hopes she doesn't come off as a street rat pickpocket any more, though. She's done a lot of work not to seem that way.
She does sounds genuinely interested in his family, tilting her head and finally setting her feet normally on the ground, moving the box to her lap. A little less closed off than before. ]
Are you? Your little brother caught you.
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what he sees is a simple thief, but the fact that she can keep up with his odd threats makes him so very curious. so he doesn’t give his guess just yet. ]
I told him! He thought I was so terribly evil for it, though.
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[ Not very sneaky! She doesn't really understand the relationship between brothers though. ]
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[ it’s the perfect segue, he thinks, to finally throwing out his guess on emerald’s criminal history. ]
You’re a thief. [ that’s obvious, though, and he touches his chin thoughtfully. ] But that’s only a part of your story, isn’t it? I just can’t decide if that’s the main part or one of your many titles.
[ he hums. ]
I’d like you either way, of course.
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[ He definitely doesn't sound that upset about getting caught or told off by his brother. ]
I don't know, you got pretty close. Master thief Emerald Sustrai at your service. [ a last name that actually means "thief," funny enough. Her face lights up with a bright smile, as if she's introducing herself for the first time and actually a cheerful, peppy person. It's surprisingly well-acted. ] I specialize in jewelry and bank heists.
[ Okay, no, she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. ]
I've never actually done a heist, so that's a lie. But you're not wrong about the rest. I'll tell you if you want me to. [ She hesitates for a moment after saying that. ] I decided I wouldn't lie about things anymore, since I'm supposed to be putting it all in my past. Though that was because I actually thought I had a future, so you might be the last person I tell. I haven't decided yet.
[ Telling people makes her less dangerous, because they know what to expect. It's a handicap to make herself less of a threat, more normal. Without being able to see the future she did all that for, making herself more dangerous just in case she needs to be seems like a better option. She was miserable when she was dangerous too, though, so she just. Doesn't know what to do. ]
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he doesn’t know. feelings are so terribly complicated. ]
Hm. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.” Is that how it goes?
[ in other words, if emerald tells him what’s going on, he’ll be honest with her, too. ]
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I was a thief for most of my life.
[ She moves both of her hands over the box, just feeling the residual warmth. There isn't much left. She could reheat it, but she doesn't really want to ruin the pizza. ]
Things changed. Someone finally pulled me off of the streets and taught me how I could stop relying on theft to survive. I have since become a killer, framed someone for assault, actual assault, forced the world's favored hero-to-be to dismember a girl on live television to cause a panic and bring hoards of monsters down on a city.. Oh, espionage.
[ She tilts her head and gestures and counts with her hand as she kind of lists things off. That's the worst of it. Once she's done she looks over at him again, like she's trying to gauge whether he's about to freak out and shut down, shame her, or react in horror. It's rare it doesn't drive people away, and he already said he doesn't care about her- definitely not enough to try to look past it. So unless he was serious about the arson and really isn't a good person himself, she doubts he'll take it well. It's just as well. ]
I don't really care about any of that, or the reason for it, but I owe that person everything. I don't have any reason to do any of that here if you're worried.
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the dismemberment is particularly intriguing, all the more because she orchestrated it. ]
Wow.
[ he smiles. ]
You’re like a character from a movie. I’m not worried at all. I think “impressed” is the word.
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[ He really is weird. She looks a little surprised, but she shrugs. ]
Your turn.
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[ seimei starts with that. officially, if someone were to look up seimei aoyagi in his own home world—well, they would find out that he’s dead, first and foremost. that was a lie, but it’s certainly the most striking thing on his records. ]
It’s hard to decide what’s a crime and what isn’t when nobody knows what you’ve done, you know.
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[ She knows what she did even if most people don't. They don't need much evidence in their world, really. ]
Spill.
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she would be an excellent fighter—and this is still before knowing anything about what she can do. ]
I don’t know where to begin.
[ he chuckles, like he’s telling a story from boyhood. ]
What if I told you I really haven’t done anything?
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[ "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" kind of implies that he has something to show. If he says he really doesn't, she's going to smack him in the arm. But honestly, that's the worst she would do. ]
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I did burn down that school.
[ he smiles at the memory of it. even to nisei, he never admitted to doing it—but nisei knew. and that’s all seimei needed from him. ]
I was trying to get the attention of a person I liked. He didn’t want to take final exams… I thought that getting rid of the school would be a quick way to reschedule them.
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[ She's heard they kind of suck. She totally gets that though. Everything she's done past theft has been for someone else, after all. ]
That's it? So you're like, baby criminal. [ Baby's first arson. ]
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[ seimei’s smile spreads, almost menacingly, but he doesn’t really have any interest in explaining everything else about himself.
he lets it hang just long enough to make it seem like he’s going to, though; like he’s going to brag about all the blood on his hands and all the torture that he’s put others through, but that reveals too much. saying that he set fire because of a crush is almost sweet, he thinks. ]
I told you, I looked at my mother’s diary! That’s worse than anything you’ve done. [ teasing, teasing, but he needs to redirect. ] Oh, I threw away a gift that my brother received once. It’s not a crime, but it’s pretty terrible, don’t you think?
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Yeah, you shouldn't betray those close to you. What'd you do that for?
[ She reaches over to flick him in the arm. On the grand scale of betrayals that's definitely more of a minor annoyance, but he's obviously teasing so she's got to tease him back. ]
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[ seimei is not hurt at all by her flick, and because it’s on his arm and not somewhere more precious, he doesn’t seem bothered by having his personal space breached. ]
I didn’t like that a girl gave him chocolates. He’s only in elementary school. He’s too young to be thinking about girlfriends.
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Hm.. as long as you got him some chocolates from you after.
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[ seimei makes a good show of pretending he’s devastated by the realization, even slanting his ears back, but he’s only mildly bothered that he didn’t actually think about doing it. he wonders if ritsuka would accept some belated chocolate from his terrible brother. ]
How will he ever forgive me? How will you?
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[ She looks interested honestly. And she explains a little. ]
It's obvious, I'll bet he'd forgive you for anything.
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[ it’s true. seimei cares about ritsuka more than anything—but her observation catches him off guard, because it’s precisely what’s been weighing on his mind. the seimei that ritsuka knows is not the person that seimei actually is. he doesn’t know if ritsuka can forgive that. ]
I hope so. I love him more than anything else in the world.
[ a rare moment of honest vulnerability, from seimei. ]
For me, that’s what love is… forgiving someone no matter what they’ve done. If he can give that to me, I’ll never ask for anything ever again. [ sensing himself losing control of the situation, though, he holds up a hand. ] …but please remember that I’m trying to look like I don’t care about anything.
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