unhappy: (Fury)
Emerald Sustrai ([personal profile] unhappy) wrote in [community profile] prismatica2020-05-18 02:15 am

text; un: ems

I'm sick of trying to feel better about everything and being kind and showing everyone oh look moonblessed are harmless teehee let's just

be angry

anon is fine

come tell me who or what makes you angry, get it out there


[ Emerald is not anon, but she doesn't mind if any characters are. Unless otherwise stated, please assume she is not responding anonymously. She doesn't know how to cope with feelings of loss, so this is the best and most productive thing she could think of to try to get it out without wanting to punch everyone she speaks to in the face like she has for the past couple of weeks. So please, vent with her and be angry. ]
machiavel: (pic#6039720)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-23 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
You think so low of me.

[ seimei is amused, though. maybe he would be, if he ever had any reason for it. everyone he’s ever leered at has known he was there and known he was looking—he just constructs anything odd he does as being perfectly natural for him, and no one bothers to question it.

he laughs. ]


I read my mother’s diary once. Does that count? My younger brother was furious with me.
machiavel: (pic#13956781)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-23 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
Give me a second to think.

[ truthfully, she doesn’t seem like a criminal. it sounds like she’s done bad things, but if seimei compares her to himself, or even to nisei, she seems like she’s living in a different world—maybe there’s still a part of her that cares, even if she doesn’t want to. he wonders. ]

To answer that question, though, my mother never found out. I’m quite sneaky.
machiavel: (pic#13829923)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-23 12:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[ seimei is looking at her as he makes idle conversation about his brother. honestly, he could talk about ritsuka with his brain turned off. it’s easy for him to wonder what sort of life emerald has lived—but he does underestimate her a little. he’s not a mind reader.

what he sees is a simple thief, but the fact that she can keep up with his odd threats makes him so very curious. so he doesn’t give his guess just yet. ]


I told him! He thought I was so terribly evil for it, though.
machiavel: (pic#13829911)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-24 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
I thought he would like it. I’m not a very good judge of people.

[ it’s the perfect segue, he thinks, to finally throwing out his guess on emerald’s criminal history. ]

You’re a thief. [ that’s obvious, though, and he touches his chin thoughtfully. ] But that’s only a part of your story, isn’t it? I just can’t decide if that’s the main part or one of your many titles.

[ he hums. ]

I’d like you either way, of course.
machiavel: (pic#13834641)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-24 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ how morbid. how sad. seimei wonders how someone could be so affected by the loss of another person—the only person he might think about that way is ritsuka, and even then, their current fight doesn’t hurt him. is it because it’s a necessity? would he become like emerald if ritsuka truly hated him?

he doesn’t know. feelings are so terribly complicated. ]


Hm. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.” Is that how it goes?

[ in other words, if emerald tells him what’s going on, he’ll be honest with her, too. ]
machiavel: (pic#13834647)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-24 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ all of that. she’s worse than him, if they count by deeds alone—but maybe that’s just because seimei hasn’t really gotten a chance to spread his wings. he’s almost envious of all that she’s gotten to experience. he isn’t frightened at all by what she tells him, and that much is evident, but it’s hard to see just how interested he is.

the dismemberment is particularly intriguing, all the more because she orchestrated it. ]


Wow.

[ he smiles. ]

You’re like a character from a movie. I’m not worried at all. I think “impressed” is the word.
machiavel: (pic#13829916)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-24 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Me? I’ve never been charged with anything.

[ seimei starts with that. officially, if someone were to look up seimei aoyagi in his own home world—well, they would find out that he’s dead, first and foremost. that was a lie, but it’s certainly the most striking thing on his records. ]

It’s hard to decide what’s a crime and what isn’t when nobody knows what you’ve done, you know.
machiavel: (pic#13829924)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-24 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ impressive. she got away with all of that. seimei is more interested than ever, and now he feels like he needs to make himself compelling enough to keep her attention without making it obvious he wants her for himself.

she would be an excellent fighter—and this is still before knowing anything about what she can do. ]


I don’t know where to begin.

[ he chuckles, like he’s telling a story from boyhood. ]

What if I told you I really haven’t done anything?
machiavel: (pic#13829927)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-25 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ seimei laughs, pleased with that answer. at the very least, he can tell her what exactly happened with the whole school incident—though compared to her history, he realizes it’s mild. ]

I did burn down that school.

[ he smiles at the memory of it. even to nisei, he never admitted to doing it—but nisei knew. and that’s all seimei needed from him. ]

I was trying to get the attention of a person I liked. He didn’t want to take final exams… I thought that getting rid of the school would be a quick way to reschedule them.
machiavel: (pic#13829938)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-25 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
That’s it? No, that isn’t it.

[ seimei’s smile spreads, almost menacingly, but he doesn’t really have any interest in explaining everything else about himself.

he lets it hang just long enough to make it seem like he’s going to, though; like he’s going to brag about all the blood on his hands and all the torture that he’s put others through, but that reveals too much. saying that he set fire because of a crush is almost sweet, he thinks. ]


I told you, I looked at my mother’s diary! That’s worse than anything you’ve done. [ teasing, teasing, but he needs to redirect. ] Oh, I threw away a gift that my brother received once. It’s not a crime, but it’s pretty terrible, don’t you think?
machiavel: (pic#13829944)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-25 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
Ow.

[ seimei is not hurt at all by her flick, and because it’s on his arm and not somewhere more precious, he doesn’t seem bothered by having his personal space breached. ]

I didn’t like that a girl gave him chocolates. He’s only in elementary school. He’s too young to be thinking about girlfriends.
machiavel: (pic#13956796)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-25 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
Oh no. I didn’t.

[ seimei makes a good show of pretending he’s devastated by the realization, even slanting his ears back, but he’s only mildly bothered that he didn’t actually think about doing it. he wonders if ritsuka would accept some belated chocolate from his terrible brother. ]

How will he ever forgive me? How will you?
machiavel: (pic#13829920)

[personal profile] machiavel 2020-05-25 11:52 am (UTC)(link)
Hm?

[ it’s true. seimei cares about ritsuka more than anything—but her observation catches him off guard, because it’s precisely what’s been weighing on his mind. the seimei that ritsuka knows is not the person that seimei actually is. he doesn’t know if ritsuka can forgive that. ]

I hope so. I love him more than anything else in the world.

[ a rare moment of honest vulnerability, from seimei. ]

For me, that’s what love is… forgiving someone no matter what they’ve done. If he can give that to me, I’ll never ask for anything ever again. [ sensing himself losing control of the situation, though, he holds up a hand. ] …but please remember that I’m trying to look like I don’t care about anything.

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