Emerald Sustrai (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unhappy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2020-05-18 02:15 am
unhappy) wrote in prismatica2020-05-18 02:15 am
text; un: ems
I'm sick of trying to feel better about everything and being kind and showing everyone oh look moonblessed are harmless teehee let's just
be angry
anon is fine
come tell me who or what makes you angry, get it out there
[ Emerald is not anon, but she doesn't mind if any characters are. Unless otherwise stated, please assume she is not responding anonymously. She doesn't know how to cope with feelings of loss, so this is the best and most productive thing she could think of to try to get it out without wanting to punch everyone she speaks to in the face like she has for the past couple of weeks. So please, vent with her and be angry. ]
be angry
anon is fine
come tell me who or what makes you angry, get it out there
[ Emerald is not anon, but she doesn't mind if any characters are. Unless otherwise stated, please assume she is not responding anonymously. She doesn't know how to cope with feelings of loss, so this is the best and most productive thing she could think of to try to get it out without wanting to punch everyone she speaks to in the face like she has for the past couple of weeks. So please, vent with her and be angry. ]
no subject
[Another pause, though it's briefer this time.]
Thanks
You too
I didn't want to repeat things you already wrote
But you're convincing
Maybe more things annoy me than I realized
For practicing
With the band
You have to pay
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practice in public until someone offers to pay for you to go into a studio so they dont have to listen 24/7 :) no matter how good you are or aren't no one wants to listen to loud music against their will
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That's a huge compliment... I think
Coming from you
I guess so
Unless the police tell us to stop
There are 4 of us in the band
So we split the cost
But I'm a broke high school student
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cops are the worst.
maybe you can get some privacy cubes and take them home with you.
no subject
But it's not allowed in most places
That's why we have live houses
But that would be nice
I've never used one before
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[ She doesn't remember if that's his name or not. It's close enough. ]
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[Close enough for Mafuyu.]
Maybe I can use one here
If they're less expensive than studios
But I don't have a reason to use a studio anyway
So it's easiest to play at my apartment
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TMI I know definitely a different use but I think that's what a lot of people use it for so it'd be useful for what you want to do definitely.
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I didn't look into it
Because my boyfriend isn't here
[Point blank... Not that he would use it even if Uenoyama was here, because even vanilla sex with the lights off in his own bed might break him. (But that doesn't mean Mafuyu's interest isn't a little piqued.)]
Music is a better option
Now I can cross something off my anger list
Annoyances list
no subject
I hope you can see your boyfriend soon and abuse a privacy cube. I'll grab you an extra one next time I run into the guy and have some spare chroma for your music though.
[ They only last so long, after all, so she doesn't mind getting him an extra one.]
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It's okay
You don't have to spend anything on me
But it's nice of you
Even if he came here
Uenoyama-kun might pass out at the thought of doing that
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I'm not offering twice, so you better not be doing that polite rejection thing.
I mean, at least you'd get a laugh out of it.
no subject
Mmm...
I wouldn't say no if you really wanted to
But I would feel bad if you spent extra on me
And my not-here vanilla boyfriend
[He really, truly isn't trying to throw Uenoyama under the bus, okay. It's honestly adorable.]
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Did you decide on one?
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Right?
It's the same time
As the flower festivals in my home too
It's a good day
no subject
It was good.
Sei disappeared right after that though, so I'm not sure how good it really was. Maybe I shouldn't have picked one.
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Not your fault
That has nothing to do with it
no subject
It still feels like
I don't know
Like things finally were going good for the first time and I asked for too much
no subject
I'm not going to pretend to understand what you're going through
That's not fair to you
Or anyone
But that feeling
That everything was ripped away as soon as you were happy
I know it too
Emerald-san
You're allowed to be angry
no subject
I don't know how to do anything with it but hurt and I don't want to do that to anyone who doesn't have it coming
[ She's scared she's going to lash out at someone who doesn't deserve it. She knows she's capable of picking very dangerous fights that have gotten some bad attention on her and Mercury even before this because of her snap-reactions. She doesn't think past a certain point of anger and she doesn't want to become someone like that because she can't contain it. ]
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Can't you get angry on your own?
In your own space
Where no one has to see
It hurts
But I think not letting those feelings out
Hurts even more
no subject
i moved in with chihiro a while ago
it's all his space
[ because emerald has no idea how to be a healthy person with a personal life that doesn't center around people she cares about. she's never had her own space. ]
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That it's all his space
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